


My Retort

by washwindows



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crossover, M/M, Sad, Short Story, chinese historical, claude is a mad scientist, dimitri is a jiangshi, inspired by song lyrics, post-time claude, post-time dimitri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20662094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/washwindows/pseuds/washwindows
Summary: One day, you hopped into my secret laboratory, and the rest was history.--Inspired by the song RTRT by Mili.Dimitri is a wandering Jiangshi (chinese zombie).Claude is a scientist/inventor.





	My Retort

The bright sun burned the surfaces of the plains, and the heat waves danced in the air as if to emphasise how hot it truly was. As usual, I was fiddling with my concoctions in the shack hidden behind thick layers of forest.

_ Hop hop. _ I heard some sounds that sounded rather unusual. I put down the flask in my hand and wiped my fingers intricately with a small rag that hung on my belt. I tilted my head to listen for any more noises outside the door. A soft growl, and shuffling of boots against dead leaves and dirt. I opened the door, and was greeted by a pair of soulless, blue eyes.

_ You came along my secret laboratory. _ With spiky bloody fangs hungry for my Qi, you reached out for my neck, perhaps in an attempt to restrain me.

_Hold up, mister._ I put my hands in front of me and shoved a wooden spoon, that was hanging by the walls, into your mouth. I stared at your eyes and the talisman that hid your unusual expression. 

_ Right there, mister. _ Maybe I was possessed by another spirit, perhaps my brain was fused from all the experiments I did. Nonetheless, you entered my shack by my invitation. Realising what I had done to myself, my eyes darted outside the door. A sigh escaped my lips. No one.

_Sit down, mister._ I’m not sure where I got the courage or the strength, but my hands as if with their own conscious, pushed you along the corridors. Pulling out an old worn out chair, I push down on your shoulders and you sat down stiffly.

I’m hungry, we both are. I side-eyed you who sat unmoving at the small dining table.

_ How about some retort pouch of curry? _

_ Pouch of chili? _

_ Pouch of MRE? _

_But you’re rather picky._ You turned your head to face the other way. I found it quite amusing. Weren’t jiangshis supposed to be dead and stiff? 

You were so human.

_ Well. _

_ I’ll make you something else. _

_ Don’t need to show me how. _

_ Since I’m the mad scientist, proclaimed by myself. _

_ Canto or Sichuan? _

_ Jiangsu or Hunan? _

_ No matter which one you pick I’ll get it done. _

_ Zhajiangmian and Xiaolongbao? _

_ Wonton and Chashao? _

_ Delivery or takeout won’t beat my retort pouch! _

_ You’re loving my retort. _ I can see it from your curved eyes, though they were still as soulless.

_ I’m loving your retort. _

_ You’re my only retort. _

_ You’re my only retort. _

  
\--

1, 2. 

1, 2, 1. 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

1, 2. 

1, 2, 1. 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

  
\--

_ Crack crack. _ I turned around from my work station, placing my pen into my little handmade pen holder. It had a small lion crescent carved onto it. I loved running my fingers along the carved indents.

_ You stretched your arms out asking for a hug. _ Though you did not say anything, I was still able to read your thoughts through your eyes. Sometimes I thought I was just hallucinating. Maybe I've been away from society for too long.

_ Hidden under your talisman is your practiced smile. _ How strange, I thought. You were turning more human every passing day.

_ Come here, mister. _ I waved at you to follow me. We went into the kitchen, which already had fires burning and pots cooking.

_ Help me, mister. _

_ Right here, mister. _ I passed you a wooden ladle.

_ You took up my spoon. _ I smiled as I watched you follow my instructions.

_ Stirring curry. _

_ Stirring chili. _

_ That’s when I’ve realized. _

_ We’ve become family. _ I could not stop my smile from widening. We placed the dishes on the dining table and settle down. You were in front of me, with a smile. I was sure you practiced for a long time. I put my hand on mouth and turned my head away. Your eyes followed me. My shoulders trembled. I coughed and gestured that we could eat now.

  


_ Then he came. _

_ A man in black and white. _ He donned a tall hat and wore a strange uniform.

_ He’s holding laser guns and Bagua(八卦) signs. _

_ Then he aimed at your slimy skin. _ With no warning, and no call. As if a silent owl that had swooped down to claw at the mouse that was traveling on the forest floor.

_ And pulled the trigger. _

_ Your head bursts. _ Your rotten brain matter splattered all over, like blue fireworks. I remained in my seat. The mysterious man left without saying a word. My eyes were fixated on your head, or rather, what was left of it.

I stood up from my seat, and with so much force that the chair fell backward and hit the floor. I just stood in place. I didn't know how long I was standing for, but when I came back to my senses my thighs were trembling.

Picking up the pieces of your head that burst and splattered on the floor, I collected the reminisces of your talisman. I picked up your torn eyes and every strand of hair that was blown away from the impact.

_ Shh. _

_ I’ll stitch you back up. _

_ Don’t need to show me how. _

_ Since I’m the mad scientist, proclaimed by myself. _

Rushing to my workstation, I pull out the drawers at the side. One of the handles popped off, and I threw it away annoyedly. Grabbing my toolbox, I rushed back to where you were. You sat there, unmoving.

_ I’ll give you plastic eyes. _

_ And give you nylon hair. _

_ And I’ll make sure I get your talisman repaired. _

  


_ Shark fin soup or Dim sum? _

_ Dumpling or Peking duck? _

  


_ Nothing I make is gonna bring that charm inside you back. _ Your talisman was repaired. Your eyes are back and your hair all stitched together on your head. I held your cold hands, and inside I knew I was hoping for a miracle. 

_ But you’re still my retort. _

_ But you’re still my retort. _

_ I’m seeking for retort. _

_ I’m seeking for retort. _

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to RTRT again and wanted to try my hand at rewriting the lyrics in a story format. 
> 
> If you're wondering why I picked Dimitri and Claude, well. When you're hungry and there's not enough food, you have to become the chef.
> 
> Anyways, it's not part of canon FE3H. Just a little angsty thing to fill myself. I'm not good at writing beautifully, but hope you enjoyed nonetheless.


End file.
